is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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