my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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