I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Randomize
