If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
How naked do you want me to be?
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