Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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