I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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