She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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