I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
