they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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