I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
In other news, I just burned my penis
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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