I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
