Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
