operation have a gay friend backfired
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
