I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We are two peas in an std pod
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
