My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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