I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
how does that bad decision feel?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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