:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
hell yes lets make some ravioli
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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