I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
