Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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