My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You left your phone here
Wait...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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