It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize