3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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