I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
