I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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