I don't usually arrange sex via text message
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
