I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize