He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
