Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
