After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
