thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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