I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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