I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
