You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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