I can't watch pbs sober anymore
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
