u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
