Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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