smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
