I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
