I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
babies were throwing up all over the place
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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