I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
