Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
