i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
