Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
