hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
