I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize