dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
