Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Randomize
