I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
