Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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