Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
