when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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