normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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