I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
my liver is dry heaving
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
