awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
