i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
