what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Randomize